Betrayal

"Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. All men will hate you because of Me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved" Matthew 10:21-22

Tuesday was a day of betrayal. We learned, after hours of investigation, interrogation, and agony that dad had taken the life of mom with his very own hands. I think it was most shocking to learn of both incidents together, mom was dead AND dad was her murderer. Taking a moment, but what seemed like an hour, to breath, I sat in the police station comfort room, in utter disbelief and shock. My concerns quickly turned to Jay as he had a completely different reaction. He went ballistic. Who wouldn't really....but especially him (being extremely close to both our parents). My older sister and motherly instincts kicked in. At that moment, I went from shock to super survival mode. I think I stayed in survival mode for the following 3 months.

Betray [bi-trey] - to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling.

My trust in my father, my family's trust in my father, my mother's trust in the sacrament of marriage, my mother's trust in my father.....all betrayed in one unimaginable act. I think it is natural for hate and anger to follow betrayal, it is especially talked about when speaking of the grieving process.....but I was still in disbelief. I needed solid proof, something concrete other than a confession by dad. Maybe that comes from an accounting and auditing background. Everything must be proved. How could a man who I have seen always love my mother, kiss her goodnight and good morning, do something like this?

WAIT.......MOM's DEAD! Ummmm, someone help, make both things go away. I was scrambling for air, scrambling for words, scrambling for sanity. And all of a sudden, I remembered that I had the Lord. I felt his right hand extending down to me, offering to help me and pick me up off the ground. He was perhaps the only thing I had at that very moment, and no one and nothing can take Him away.....ahhh a little comfort in a very uncomfortable time. That night, my first prayer was answered and God became very vivid in my life.

With family in town (about 20 people) and no place to stay the night, we began to scramble for a solution. We were utterly incapable of making any rational decisions, and at that very moment Cathy, my parent's neighbor, called with wonderful news. Someone from her church owned a hotel in the area and gave us 3 complimentary rooms for the night. I silently prayed what I like to call a "thank you prayer" to the Lord for answering my prayer of "please protect my family and either bring my mom safely home to you or safely home to us." He answered this solemn prayer in one day, and I knew that I was forever in the hands of the Lord!

"Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled." Matthew 5:6