Enduring Trials

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing." James 1:2-4

When faced with a tragedy such as loosing a loved one, families usually come together or fall apart. I believe this happens because there is a lack of trust, faith and reliance upon the Lord to heal the pain that cuts so deep. In the New Testament, James explains to the new Christian followers how to endure trials of many kinds. I am not sure what kinds of trials he is referring to, but I am almost certain that the trial of loosing a mother at the hands of her husband falls somewhere in the "many kinds."

Sadly enough, families too often take the route of falling apart. It has becomes a complete lack of understanding amongst each other and selfish greiving which spurs the falling apart. When one party feels one way, and another party feels a different way, with no common ground or communication, relationships suffer.

It is a difficult thing to loose a parent, especially a mother, at a young age. I may venture to say that at any age it is difficult. There are so many memories shared between a mother and a child that are inexplainable and a bond that is unbroken. When a mother is lost, hope for things to occur in the future is also lost. Wedding days, having children, birthdays, holidays...all these will never be the same without her.

On top of the emotional issues that surround loosing a mother, falls the fact that a father is also "lost." I am not sure if anyone else has been through something of this nature, but a father is always a father. Love for a parent doesn't diminish because of a heinous act. Anger is there, but love has not been lost. When faced with the complicated relationship of a father in prison because he has killed my mother, I get lost in the rules of engagement...so to speak. What does this relationship look like?

The mere fact of having a relationship with him is exactly what has caused my family to fall apart. Deep in the softest place in my heart I consult with the Lord and ask for guidance. Do I condemn my father and forget he exists because my family hates him and wants me to hate him too? The Lord prompts me to love so I choose to love him. Loving him and forgiving him is exactly what my family is the most angry about. They cannot understand how I could do such a thing, and so they begin to shut me out. This hurts so deep because I have already lost a mother and a father and now am loosing my external family whom I hold so near and dear to my heart. The feeling is emptiness and loneliness and I am reminded too vividly of Job.

And in the moment of loving and being persecuted for loving, I am reminded of what James tells me....to find joy in this trial. Find joy because I know that I am following the Lord and following what He finds to be right and honoring. I will persevere through this trial of the persecution from my family with the strength and vindication of the Lord. I have faith in that. I trust in the Lord, that His word is infallible.


"Trust in him at all times, O people. pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:8